Have you ever in your adult life, snoozed your alarm and opened Instagram before you've even fully opened your eyes? Or maybe comment back on a post before you said good morning to your roommate?
Though seemingly harmless, this type of addicted behavior didn't happen by accident.
So by now, we understand the effects of significant others and reference groups. We understand from the looking glass self that...
I'm not who I think I am. I'm not who you think I am. I'm who I think you think I am.
And we suspect that the new age of social media shapes the aforementioned looking glass, our self-presentation, and our self-perceptions, expand our reference groups, and perhaps give us exposure to otherwise unreachable significant others.
Cool. That's life now and it doesn't sound too terrible.
BUT...
The new business elites of tech (aka Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) aren't tech nerds that gave the gift of social connection. At least that's not what they are now. They're large business conglomerates with the desire to make as much money as possible.
Do you ever wonder how such massive and wide-spread businesses can sustain themselves in a capitalistic structure by giving virtually anyone free access to their platforms?
Put simply, they can do this because you are not the customer. You're the product.
As a marketer, I've spent thousands of dollars (a combination of mine/clients) on running extremely targeted advertisements to relevant offers. This amount of specificity marketers and advertisers have access to is a result of algorithms very quickly figuring out the type of stuff you'd buy based on how you interact with their platforms.
If I'm being honest, very good marketers (much more experienced and with way larger budgets than me) spend hundreds of thousands on these platforms because of how well these tech giants have figured out to monetize your data, attention, and time spent on their platforms.
With this in mind, it's quite reasonable to assume these tech giants spend a lot of money on the top social psychologists and engineers from the top universities, to crack the code of how to make their platforms more addictive. With the goal of maximizing your time spent on their platforms, it's much more than just digitally mediated others influencing your identity... it's the intentionally and carefully designed algorithms that mediate your interactions.
Definitely not trying to sound anti-tech here, because these social media platforms are a large part of mainstream reality @MisterJackieMa 😉 However, it is important to take into consideration that when you use these technologies, your compulsion to constantly check your phone isn't purely because you want to keep up with your high school friend, Sally, rather big businesses are very intentionally manipulating reward pathways to keep you addicted (and more valuable to sell to advertisers).
If I wasn't subtle enough, I personally think their economic incentives play a huge role in shaping online identity formation. So why does it matter and what can you do?
Why it Matters
In this new age of information with an overwhelming slew of influences and intentional distractions, if we aren't careful, who we become will be dictated by our addictions. If we aren't careful we'll live our lives in a chronically distracted state completely lacking the skill to focus.
Instead, what I want for you is to be intentional with becoming the version of ourselves most aligned with our highest goals. Every level you go up requires you to step up to a higher version of yourself.
So What Can You Do?
Having you quit social media and refrain from using the internet entirely isn't the answer. Let's be real, there's legitimate reasons and pros to using these platforms. But the trouble starts once we're on them because of instinct, habit, boredom, or loneliness. So to allow yourself the benefits of these platforms without incurring the costs requires you channel your intention.
Figure out what you truly enjoy these platforms for. Is it checking up on certain friends? Talking to your family? Look something up? Post some inspiring post? Great. Now that you figured that out, calculate how much time you'd need to do these activities each day. For example, 10 minutes for Instagram, 15 minutes for YouTube, 15 minutes for Google, etc.
Cool. Now put a literal time limit (using your phone's built in system or using a third-party app) and stick to it. This is such a freeing move because now with only a certain amount of time per day, you have intention when you open up these applications. You're there with purpose.
Interestingly, one of the hardest things to do now is to figure out how to use all your newly freed up time. It's crucial that you find something to replace this habit with, otherwise it'll be too tempting to just unlock your time limits and mindlessly keep scrolling.
These quick tips sound almost too simple, but implement them and you'll give yourself up to an extra 3-4 hours a day. That's nearly an extra 30 hours a week. Imagine the type of goals you can accomplish, the extra hours spent on mastery, or the extra sleep you can get (one of my personal favorites lol).
While these simple strategies will take you very far, there's so much more to breaking your addictions and re-purposing your new freedom. Of course it's going to take some intentional work, but I can't imagine a better use of your energy than stepping into the highest version of yourself and living a life unchained from addictions.